Take a Mini Break from Work or Study

Even a few minutes is enough to relax and release tension. Our latest podcast episode, Mini Break from Work or Study, is a short meditation you can use when you have just a few minutes to spare. It guides you through a process that you can use anytime, even when you don't have your mp3 player with you. After you've done it a few times, your body will remember to use it to relax. Similar in length to the Deep Relaxation Meditation in our first podcast episode, this meditation has a different approach. You'll be guided to let go of your work, stretch, take some deep breaths and do a quick body scan with tension release. I think you'll be impressed with how much difference a little time away from work or studies can make.

If you can take a little time here and there to relax, it can make a big difference. Making it a habit to take breaks throughout the day can really reduce your stress. I have to remind myself to do this all the time. It's so easy to get caught up in the sense of urgency about getting things done. You may feel you can't afford to take the time, but you really can't afford not to! When you take time off to "reset", you'll be able to accomplish a lot more. When you feel clear and relaxed, everything goes better!

Finding Silence in a Busy Mind

Lyn emailed me about a statement on our Difficulty Meditating website page that she found confusing. This blog post is an attempt to explain it, but I'm not sure that I can anymore than I can explain the taste of an apple to someone who has never tasted one. Here's the statement she found confusing:

"Although meditation can be a way to experience inner silence, this comes about not by eliminating thoughts, but by becoming aware of the silence that is naturally present in the mind along with the thoughts."

The statement refers to the experience of silence in a meditative state, and a meditative state is very difficult to describe in words. It's about the space between words, the space between thoughts. It's about becoming unhooked from thoughts and concepts so that the background of consciousness in which everything is experienced becomes apparent.

Trying to describe this experience is like trying to describe space. It's easy to describe the objects in space - a tree, an apple, a human being - but how do you describe space itself to someone?  Everything exists in space - it's that no-thing in which every "thing" is! How you put words to that?

Our awareness could be thought of as the space in which all of our experiences take place. It is an "aware space". It is there all of the time, but we don't put our attention on it. Our attention is focused on the experiences, rather than the awareness underlying the experiences. Meditation can bring about an awareness of awareness. And the nature of that awareness could be described as silence. As we disengage from the meaning of thoughts and they are allowed to flow through, the experience is one of silence along with thoughts. The gap between thoughts, the space in which they happen, is being noticed.

Does the statement make sense to you? How would you explain it to someone?

My "soothing" "irritating" voice - thoughts on being oneself

If you are reading this post, chances are you are someone who likes my voice, the style of my guided meditations and Richard's music. I get lots of comments about how soothing and reassuring my voice is. That feels good, of course. But everyone's reaction to my voice isn't so favorable.

There have been reviews that said I sound like a Valley Girl, a Saturday Night Live skit, too sing-songy, aggravating, irritating, annoying, even drunk! Reactions to a person's voice and style of speaking, especially in a guided meditation, can be so different. Something in a voice can trigger a difficult or unpleasant association. What soothes one person annoys another.

Obviously, there's no "best" guided meditation style or "right" voice for everyone. People's tastes are so varied. Nevertheless, the first time we got a negative review on our first CD, it made me want to quit. I listened to myself and thought "oh my they're right, I sound ridiculous". It didn't matter that many people were already getting benefit from the meditations. My confidence in myself was so low. On top of that, I have a way of seeing things from all different sides. So I could easily feel that someone's criticism was the truth of the matter.

Thank goodness I didn't give up. It took a lot of reminding myself that a few people not liking what I do doesn't negate the value many others were receiving from my work. It took accepting that as soon as you express yourself fully, in your own unique way, some people are not going to like what you do. It also took understanding that the more you express your true self, the more you had to offer those who resonate with you.

For much of my life, I didn't fully express my creativity and talents because I preferred to hide and not give anyone the chance to criticize me. But that is no way to live. We all have gifts and we need to share them to be really fulfilled. If you express yourself and share your gifts, not everyone will enjoy them, but some people will absolutely love what you have to offer. And that's what matters - that you give what you can to those who can benefit from it. Perhaps what matters even more is that you give the gift of yourself to yourself!

Now when I hear a criticism, it doesn't phase me. My perspective is much more balanced, and my self-love and respect so much stronger. Day by day, I gather more courage to be more fully myself. The more I express myself, the less I care what others think, the more fulfilling life becomes. It's an on-going journey for me. Some fortunate people grow up with that kind of confidence, but others have to gain it later. How about you? What has your experience been?

Winter blues? Some ideas for lifting your spirits!

Dan on Facebook asked for some thoughts on seasonal depression. A lover of the outdoors, he's finding it challenging to spend so much time inside. Winter is a challenge for me too, even here in California where the winters are far milder and shorter than in my native New Jersey. Finding ways of getting through winter has been a big focus for me, and for the first time this year, winter's not so hard. In fact, at times I'm even enjoying it! Seasonal depression is quite common, and it can range from simple "winter blahs" to something much more intense. The darkness of winter, combined with the cold and the necessity to stay indoors, can all lead to feeling blue. But I think sometimes winter can also trigger a stronger depression that has to do with unresolved emotional issues that surface when winter forces us to be less active and we have less things to distract us from what lies within us. In that sense, winter can also be an opportunity to see what parts of yourself need healing and attention. For example, for most of us, there's grief from a variety of losses in life that we've never fully processed. Our culture doesn't do grief well. We get a "stay on the sunny side of the street" kind of message that causes us to avoid the painful feelings of grief. But avoiding, suppressing and distracting ourselves from feelings doesn't make them go away. Given the more restful time of winter, these feelings can surface.

Although I'm going to share list of some things I've done to make winter easier, I have to start by saying that inner work I've done in the past has a lot to do with my good spirits this winter. Your everyday, garden-variety winter doldrums might be helped by some of the things I'll share, but it may take more than that if the depression is more intense.  If you feel your depression is more than simple winter blahs, I'd encourage you to explore the possibility that there is more going on. You can find lots of reading online about depression and Seasonal Affective Disorder. It may be that winter is helping you to see that there's some inner work to do. Attending to your depression can lead to a more fulfilling life later on. There are lots of good therapies for depression, so I hope you'll get some help if needed.

And now, as someone who has always dreaded the coming of winter, here are the things I've found that are making a big difference for me:

  • I bring more light into my home - light candles, have some pretty lamps lit. If I had a fireplace, I'd make lots of fires. It's amazing though, how much even one lit candle can mean in winter. Whenever possible, I spend a least a few minutes in the sun, really soaking it in. Full spectrum lighting can help as well.
  • Exercise. Exercise helps with depression, and part of the blahs may come from being more sedentary in winter. I used to rely a lot on walking and when it was too cold to go out in winter, I was at a loss. A few things have made all the difference -- an elliptical machine, a bodybar and the hula.
  • I do whatever it takes to stay warm. Lots of layers of clothes, especially yummy wool sweaters with beautiful colors that lift my spirits. I use an electric mattress pad to warm my bed before I get in. If I feel chilled, I'll even warm my clothes in a dryer and put them on. I can't tell you how good the heat feels. I have no shame when it comes to keeping warm. People joke about it when I wear two wool hats, one on top of the other, but my comfort comes first!
  • Find enjoyable indoor activities. For me, lately, it's been the hula. I can't tell you how happy it makes me. Find something that really lifts your spirits and do it!
  • Bring nature indoors. If you, like me, are a lover of nature, having plants indoors can really help. Taking care of them, seeing them grow brings a bit of spring and summer into your home. Forcing bulbs in winter is also wonderful. How about some lovely, fragrant narcissus or hyacinth? The Nature Attunement Meditation is perfect for this as well!
  • Attitude. Oh yes, lest I forget, that all important ingredient. Cognitive therapy is effective in depression, and I think of an attitude adjustment as being just that. If I focus on how long and dreary winter is and how much I want it over with, it does seem incredibly long and dreary. Instead I'm learning to focus on the positive side of winter -- the opportunity to be more restful and go within. It's a time to hibernate and meditate. It's a time to contemplate.
  • Surrender. Finally, perhaps the most important ingredient is surrendering to the melancholy when it's present. We're conditioned to fight it and resist it, to feel it's bad or wrong. It's a natural part of life. So often our suffering comes from feeling we should be different than we are (as in always happy and upbeat). Life as we know it couldn't exist without the poles of opposites - joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain. Let it be OK to feel blue.

Perhaps some of these things will be useful for you. Or you may have some other strategies to share. I'd love to know what works for you!

Winter as Meditation

A friend just shared a beautiful poem she wrote about winter. Although the title of the poem is Winter's Resurgence, I titled this post "Winter as Meditation", because for me winter is a season of meditation. It brings an invitation to go within. In the dormancy of winter, all sorts of things are going on underground and these underground stirrings are the foundation of the blossoming of spring. In the same way, the deep rest of meditation is a foundation for creativity and productivity when meditation is finished.

Here is K's poem. It spoke to me on so many levels and in so many different ways, but I'll be quiet now, like winter, and let the poem reveal its special meaning for you. I'd love to hear what it means to you...

Winter's Resurgence

Winter has come upon us with her majestic stillness and fierce storms Blanketing us in her winter's lair Beckoning us to breath in rhythm

And it is here that I speak my prayer:

'Take a part of me deep into your forested womb Keep me there, giving me rest, away from worldly desires and despairs Cover me with your insight and love Hold me like there is no where else to go, nothing more to become Heal me of my tired and disenchanted ways Let me be still inside, my belly connected with yours like the dormant snake of winter lying securely in you'

And when your mists begins to lift, may your nurturing womb flow me out and birth me new

K. McCauley A.
Winter's Resurgence 12/20/08~1/13/10
dedicated to Sarah Dole, teacher and friend