Non-resistance in Meditation

Comment from Kathy -- "I have trouble meditating in general. I can relax completely but then the slightest things disturb me. Things like my eyelids fluttering or an itch. My limbs become restless. Can you advise any strategy to help deal with that so I can stay in that relaxed state?" ----------

11-19-2011 -- Meant to add my comments before publishing this post yesterday. So here they are now -- better late than never!

The obstacle to staying in a relaxed state is TRYING to stay in a relaxed state. You can feel restless and have fluttering eyelids and still be relaxed. The key to remaining relaxed is non-resistance. Let it be OK if you feel restless or your eyelids flutter. Go ahead and scratch an itch. Although some meditation styles may require that you stay perfectly still, we don't subscribe to that approach. Naturalness is the key. Learning to let go of resistance to what is happening is the essence of the practice. Take it as it comes, and when you find your are resisting that, let it go. Even the resistance when it comes up, is part of the process. In our approach to meditation, you can't make a mistake. Everything is part of the process of meditation!

Celebrating 5 years of our podcast

On November 7, 2006 we published our first Meditation Oasis podcast episode. We had no idea that 5 years later, there would be over 8 million downloads and that people all over the world, of all ages and backgrounds, would become listeners. Our podcast meditations have been used in ways and in places we would never have imagined. Everyday we hear from people through emails, Facebook, Twitter, website comments about how they are benefitting from the meditations. At times we are moved to tears -- both awed and humbled, knowing that these reports are a testimony to the power of meditation and the tremendous capacity we have as humans to grow. Our meditations have been used both by people wanting to enrich their experience of life and by people overcoming all sorts of challenges. Counselors and psychotherapists use them for their clients; women have used them in childbirth; they have been used in clinics and human resource departments, recovery programs, hospitals, and by troops in Afghanistan. We hear from people who are grieving or facing medical problems and surgery. Artists and musicians tell us how meditation has helped them create. And we also hear from people who simply say that life is easier, more rich and fulfilling and that they have more inner peace.

Our work has developed and expanded because of what we hear from listeners. Many of the podcast meditations came about because of listeners' requests. The podcast has been a launching pad for our online meditation course, anxiety relief program, as well as our smartphone applications. Much of Richard's music has been inspired by the podcast meditations.

This has been an incredibly fulfilling five years, and it's all because of of our listeners' openness. Richard and I feel grateful to all of you who have opened your minds and hearts to be on this journey with us.

People are all the same...

The Cheers theme song has been playing in my head today ever since meeting a podcast listener while doing my grocery shopping today.

"You wanna go where people know, people are all the same, You wanna go where everybody knows your name."

When you have an online presence, or people hear your voice on a podcast or CD, they can imagine all sorts of things about you. The person I met today thought of me as a "celebrity", "movie star of the meditation set", someone larger than life. I'm sure that that all changed in our meeting! It was the most delightful, funny coming together of two people, and I wanted to share it with you.

I called out hello to Karen who studies hula with me. She said "Mary, do you have a minute? I have someone for you to meet." I said I had a little minute, but it stretched out to many enjoyable minutes. I was introduced to Carol who has been listening to the podcast for over a year. She immediately held up her hands and said "Mary Maddux, I think of you as way up here, a movie start of meditation!" All three of us were soon laughing as Carol recounted how she had assumed I lived in New York or LA, and was amazed when Karen told her that I live in the same small town with her. Apparently yesterday, Karen spotted me walking on a local bike path and called Carol to say "You want to see Mary Maddux, move quickly -- she's walking on the bike path in pink!" Carol lamented that she was in another town and missed the great opportunity ;-). The whole situation was so heart-warming and fun, we were soon laughing and hugging near the checkout aisles. I suppose for Carol this was an unusual "celebrity sighting", in which it was revealed that the celebrity was woman much like herself. Hence the "people are all the same" line going in my mind.

It just so happens that tomorrow is our local guided meditation, and they will both join us. It feels like a coming full circle. My journey with teaching meditation and leading guided meditations was an "in-person" on for years. Reaching people through our podcast, CDs and apps has been an amazing and wonderful experience, but sometimes I miss the in-person part. This will be the second podcast listener to join our monthly meditation. At a time when our reach is growing so much that I have to cut back on answering emails, Facebook comments and so on, it's wonderful to have this personal contact. It's wonderful to be in a "place where everybody knows your name".

Body Balance Meditation

This latest podcast meditation came about when I became aware of how much easier it was for me to sense the right side of my body than the left. I was doing a body scan and when I noticed this difference in perception of the two sides, I began experimenting with favoring the signals coming from the left side. The result was a pleasant sense of balance and wholeness. I tried this out with my local guided meditation group and everyone loved the experience. The session had been recorded and so luckily we can share it with you. Doing this meditation, especially if you use it repeatedly, should enhance mind-body coordination, and increase mental and physical balance. The Body Balance Meditation guides you to focus more than most of our meditations. You will be directed to put your attention on the right and left side of the body (moving from feet to head) and notice if you experience each side with equal clarity. Often it will be more difficult to sense one side than the other. When one side is less clear to you, you'll be guided to try to sense that side more, holding the intention of experiencing both sides with equal strength. As you do this, be very easy about this focus. You don't need to strain or concentrate hard to reach the goal of sensing each side equally. If you don't find your perception of each side shifting, that's fine. As with all of our meditations, any effort you make is an "effortless effort". As you repeat this meditation over time, just naturally the balancing of the perception of the two sides will take place. Simply having that intention will gradually make this shift happen.

I'd love to hear your experience with this meditation, and, as always, am happy to answer questions.

Guided Meditation for Patience

I'm so glad some of you asked for a meditation for patience. I really needed this! Whenever I'm creating a new meditation, I explore my own experience. Exploring my experience of impatience brought insights, and helped me notice when I was trying to rush things rather than relaxing into the natural rhythm of how things are unfolding in my life. This new podcast meditation was created to allow you (and me) to relax into life's natural timing. When we are impatient, we are in a hurry for things to be different. Whether we're eager to finish a project, or make a change in ourselves or our circumstances, we are focussed on the future. We're at point A, but our attention is on getting to point B. In essence, we feel that things will be better at point B, and we're trying to get away from point A.

The fast pace of life and living in a culture that values quantity and speed feeds impatience. For many of us, it takes a strong intention and usually some sort of practice to counteract that. Meditation is certainly a great antidote to our speedy culture, and you can add to that an intention to come back to the present throughout the day. It's a great help to be in tune with your body, because it will tell you when you are rushing.

Next time you feel impatient, check in with your body. What do you feel? Chances are you'll feel some agitation and restlessness. Let yourself be present to that. You might then find that some other feeling emerges -- sadness, anger, frustration, fear... Allow yourself to be present to that. Allow the emotions to be felt and see what happens. See what else you experience by being present to yourself and the moment. Hopefully you'll notice the aliveness that is there, and find fulfillment in simply being present to what is.

Take a little more time, and look around you and see what is there -- the richness of experience is nothing short of a miracle. You hear sounds, touch textures, see colors and shapes, and have a huge variety of smells and tastes to feed the senses. If you find a relief in relaxing into the now, make note of that for the future. Take a moment to let that sink in, to recognize that the real fulfillment in life doesn't have anything to do with finishing a project or changing yourself and your circumstances. It has to do with the simple experience of being alive, and the richness of that experience.