All about meditation and sleep!

Will meditation help me sleep? I'm falling asleep during meditation, am I doing something wrong? Is it OK to meditate at bedtime? "It depends..." is often the answer to these common questions. It depends on what kind of meditation you are doing. It depends on your unique nervous system and physiology. It depends on why you are meditating in the first place, what your goal is. That being said, I'll share a few thoughts on these questions from the perspective of our meditation style.

Will meditation help me sleep? Our approach is above all to promote naturalness and ease in living. We're all about trust -- trust in life, trust in oneself. Ultimately, it's about relaxation -- letting go of the tension that comes when we try too hard, resist what is happening, or are in conflict with ourselves. It's about relaxing into the flow of life and living. This approach to meditation, or any other meditation style that promotes deep relaxation, should certainly improve the quality of sleep. Sleep comes about as we relax and let go of the concerns of the day.

I'm falling asleep during meditation, am I doing something wrong? In the deep relaxation of meditation, the body takes what it needs. If you are not getting enough sleep, the body will naturally fall asleep. So many of us are not getting enough rest, so when sleep comes in meditation it's a blessing, even if it's an unplanned afternoon nap! Practicing meditation in the style we teach should lead to greater alertness and clarity. But that doesn't mean we have to be alert and clear during meditation. (After all, we are not alert and clear during sleep, but a good night's sleep results in greater clarity and alertness during the day.) If you were totally rested, your experience during meditation would probably be one of enhanced wakefulness and energy, but if that isn't what is happening, that's fine. Whatever happens is what needs to happen at the time. So we recommend not resisting sleep when it comes. The sleep you get in meditation will be particularly deep and refreshing to the system.

Is it OK to meditate at bedtime? There is no hard and fast rule about this. If meditation makes you more alert and energized, you wouldn't want to meditate right before bed. If meditation is mainly relaxing and you slip easily into sleep while meditating, then by all means meditate before bed. The ideal would be to have another meditation earlier in the day as well. Sitting up and meditating during the day will make it more likely you'll stay awake, and different benefits can be derived from that. If you can do it, make twice daily meditation part of your routine!

On guided meditation. As those of you know who listen to our podcast meditations or use our apps, guided meditations guide you in meditation. They can be designed to simply help you achieve a meditative state, or they can have a specific focus and take you on a journey with a particular theme. We have both kinds of meditations. Some will be conducive to falling asleep, while others will be more stimulating and may not work well right before bed. You will need to try the different meditations to see what works for you.

Our new iSleep Easy app. The guided meditations on our new app are specifically designed for bedtime, and one is even designed for when you wake up in the middle of the night. All of the meditations are designed to help you let go and relax, much like our other meditations, but they are more focused on falling asleep and promoting a sound sleep. The app also gives you the ability to create a Playlist with several meditations in a row. Currently the app is available on iPhone -- you can read about it in the iTunes store. If you get the app, let us know how it works for you!

Guided Meditation for Compassion

Compassion, like gratitude, is something we love to feel. Even though compassion arises as we witness and empathize with another's pain, it is satisfying to feel this response in our hearts. It feeds our hearts. Hopefully, this new podcast meditation will help strengthen and develop your capacity for compassion, not only for others, but more importantly for yourself. I recorded this meditation with my local group. You'll notice voices in the background in one part. I thought about editing that section out, but I had incorporated the noise into the meditation and thought you might enjoy that. When we hear noise as we meditate, the key is to let go of resistance to it and attempts to push it out. Although it's more pleasant to meditate in a quiet place, we can experience inner silence even in the midst of noise.

Let me know what you experience with this meditation. Hope it serves you well!

Non-resistance in Meditation

Comment from Kathy -- "I have trouble meditating in general. I can relax completely but then the slightest things disturb me. Things like my eyelids fluttering or an itch. My limbs become restless. Can you advise any strategy to help deal with that so I can stay in that relaxed state?" ----------

11-19-2011 -- Meant to add my comments before publishing this post yesterday. So here they are now -- better late than never!

The obstacle to staying in a relaxed state is TRYING to stay in a relaxed state. You can feel restless and have fluttering eyelids and still be relaxed. The key to remaining relaxed is non-resistance. Let it be OK if you feel restless or your eyelids flutter. Go ahead and scratch an itch. Although some meditation styles may require that you stay perfectly still, we don't subscribe to that approach. Naturalness is the key. Learning to let go of resistance to what is happening is the essence of the practice. Take it as it comes, and when you find your are resisting that, let it go. Even the resistance when it comes up, is part of the process. In our approach to meditation, you can't make a mistake. Everything is part of the process of meditation!

People are all the same...

The Cheers theme song has been playing in my head today ever since meeting a podcast listener while doing my grocery shopping today.

"You wanna go where people know, people are all the same, You wanna go where everybody knows your name."

When you have an online presence, or people hear your voice on a podcast or CD, they can imagine all sorts of things about you. The person I met today thought of me as a "celebrity", "movie star of the meditation set", someone larger than life. I'm sure that that all changed in our meeting! It was the most delightful, funny coming together of two people, and I wanted to share it with you.

I called out hello to Karen who studies hula with me. She said "Mary, do you have a minute? I have someone for you to meet." I said I had a little minute, but it stretched out to many enjoyable minutes. I was introduced to Carol who has been listening to the podcast for over a year. She immediately held up her hands and said "Mary Maddux, I think of you as way up here, a movie start of meditation!" All three of us were soon laughing as Carol recounted how she had assumed I lived in New York or LA, and was amazed when Karen told her that I live in the same small town with her. Apparently yesterday, Karen spotted me walking on a local bike path and called Carol to say "You want to see Mary Maddux, move quickly -- she's walking on the bike path in pink!" Carol lamented that she was in another town and missed the great opportunity ;-). The whole situation was so heart-warming and fun, we were soon laughing and hugging near the checkout aisles. I suppose for Carol this was an unusual "celebrity sighting", in which it was revealed that the celebrity was woman much like herself. Hence the "people are all the same" line going in my mind.

It just so happens that tomorrow is our local guided meditation, and they will both join us. It feels like a coming full circle. My journey with teaching meditation and leading guided meditations was an "in-person" on for years. Reaching people through our podcast, CDs and apps has been an amazing and wonderful experience, but sometimes I miss the in-person part. This will be the second podcast listener to join our monthly meditation. At a time when our reach is growing so much that I have to cut back on answering emails, Facebook comments and so on, it's wonderful to have this personal contact. It's wonderful to be in a "place where everybody knows your name".

Sleep Meditation for Children

Getting me to bed was a long routine for my mother. She'd have me all tucked in and start to leave my room and then I'd say, "Mommy, I want some water". Off she'd go for water, and once I'd had that, she'd be on her way again. My next ploy for keeping her near was -- "leave a crack in the door". She'd leave the door a little open and I'd say "bigger", and she'd open it a bit further and start to step away. "It's too big, make it smaller", I'd say. You can see where this is going! I'm not sure how she would finally make an exit, but I do remember what was going on inside me. I was anxious! I haven't thought about this for years, not until I started recording this new podcast (Sleep Meditation for Children). I wanted to go back and remember and get into my child world. What would have helped me if I could have had a guided meditation back then? I tried to speak to the child that I was, and this new podcast offering is what resulted. It is designed to help a child settle into bed and relax into sleep. For children who are fearful at bedtime, there is an added element of a "make believe friend" to help them feel reassured.

Please listen to the meditation first and see if you feel it will be suitable for your child. It's for fairly young children. I'm sure you'll check to see if your child liked it after the first time they hear it, and see if he or she has a question about what something means. Like all guided meditations, this will work for some and not others. I do hope, though, that it will send lots of children off to sleepyland feeling relaxed, safe and loved.

I'd love to hear about your experiences with it here. And it's fine if you use it as an adult. We've all still got the child we were within us!