Some of us react to loss by "shutting down". We don't feel we can bear the pain of grief, or we don't want to risk loving and losing someone again. Rachel, whose comment is quoted below, feels her heart has been "shut for business" since she broke up with her ex four years ago. When she experienced an emotional release in the Opening the Heart meditation, however, she felt hope that she'll eventually be able to move on and find someone new.

"I felt a significant release with tears when trying this meditation. I split with an ex over four years ago... I haven’t been able to move on at all romantically as I haven’t been able to let go of this past relationship. My heart shut for business to anyone else. I’m really hoping this meditation will eventually help me move on and find love again."

Rachel has every reason to be hopeful now that she's been able to start grieving the loss of her ex. If we can grieve a loss fully, feeling the pain all the way through, it leaves us with an open heart that can make new connections. It's said that the only way through grief is straight into the heart of it. You have to fall into it completely. An open heart is one that can grieve. We can't really feel love and joy if our hearts are closed to feeling pain. Grief is a natural process that allows us to let go of one relationship and let in another.

Life is full of losses, large and small. Large losses, like losing a loved one, a job, moving, or falling ill, cause us to grieve. But so do smaller losses, losses that we might not even recognize as something to grieve. This really struck me yesterday as I was inhaling the wonderful fragrance of the jasmine flowers gracing my patio. Spring is my favorite season, and the return of the jasmine nourishes my being and brings me joy. But yesterday I noticed that almost all of the buds had already bloomed, and most of the lovely little flowers were on the decline. Lots of spent blossoms were at my feet. I felt as if I wanted to hold on to the jasmine forever, to never let it go. At some point I noticed a tight feeling in my heart. I felt that holding on feeling so clearly and sensed it as a tightening up against life. I felt I needed to let go and when I did, I felt grief. It was a surrender to the inevitability of loss that is part of the fabric of life. In that surrender I felt my heart relax and open. Though I felt sad, in that moment I felt fully alive. I was open to whatever might come next.

My sense is that we can't let go and be truly open without feeling the pain of loss. What has your experience with this been?

Even a few minutes is enough to relax and release tension. Our latest podcast episode, Mini Break from Work or Study, is a short meditation you can use when you have just a few minutes to spare. It guides you through a process that you can use anytime, even when you don't have your mp3 player with you. After you've done it a few times, your body will remember to use it to relax. Similar in length to the Deep Relaxation Meditation in our first podcast episode, this meditation has a different approach. You'll be guided to let go of your work, stretch, take some deep breaths and do a quick body scan with tension release. I think you'll be impressed with how much difference a little time away from work or studies can make.

If you can take a little time here and there to relax, it can make a big difference. Making it a habit to take breaks throughout the day can really reduce your stress. I have to remind myself to do this all the time. It's so easy to get caught up in the sense of urgency about getting things done. You may feel you can't afford to take the time, but you really can't afford not to! When you take time off to "reset", you'll be able to accomplish a lot more. When you feel clear and relaxed, everything goes better!

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