Difficulty Meditating
Keys to easy, effortless meditation…
There are all sorts of reasons that people find it hard to meditate. On this page, we discuss some of the common ones and what to do to make meditation easier. If you have been trying to meditate on your own or trying the meditations we suggest and are experiencing difficulty, these explanations should help.
We support styles of meditation which are simple, natural and easy to do. Our hope is that meditation will create greater peace, relaxation, ease and naturalness in your life. The suggestions on this page are in keeping with our approach.
Problems with thoughts in meditation
This is probably the most common challenge people have with meditation. They feel they are unable to quiet the mind and keep out thoughts. “My mind just won’t stop its chatter.” “I can’t stay focused on meditation.”
Solution: The key is to stop resisting thoughts and trying to make them go away. Thoughts are a part of meditation. They are a natural activity in the mind. Although meditation can be a way to experience inner silence, this comes about not by eliminating thoughts but by becoming aware of the silence that is naturally present in the mind along with the thoughts. When we stop resisting what is naturally happening, we experience calmness and peace. (Read more about thoughts in meditation.)
Restlessness
Often people find it’s hard to sit still for meditation. It doesn’t take long to start thinking of all the things you could be doing, or to feel restless like you want to get up.
Solution: Restlessness can arise as the body “unwinds”. When we sit to meditate, it’s as if we’ve spent the day in a moving car. Once we stop and rest, it feels as if our body is still moving. It takes time for the body to settle down and feel at rest. Meditating is like shifting gears in a car — you shift into neutral and the engine takes a while to slow down and come to idle. Continue meditating, allowing yourself to be aware of the sensation of restlessness in the body. You can continue with the meditation practice, such as watching the breath, during this time, or if the restlessness is extremely intense you can give your attention fully to the sensation of restlessness. Notice exactly how it feels in your body — where you feel it, and what the sensation is like. As you allow yourself to experience the restlessness, it will eventually settle down.
Being uncomfortable with our feelings
Sometimes during meditation, we may be uncomfortable with some of the feelings that arise. This might take the form of a strong emotion or a physical sensation in the body. When the mind is no longer caught up in its outer-directed focus and the usual distractions of the day, we can become aware of feelings that have been under the surface. You may feel tempted to stop meditating, or start to resist these feelings, making meditation a struggle.
Solution: The key to achieving a state of deep relaxation, is to learn to stop resisting certain feelings and be present to “what is”. Thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations come and go continuously in the natural flow of life. Left to flow by themselves, they will pass through. Simply allow these feelings to be present, not trying to push them out, but also not following the mind’s stories about them. If an emotion is so strong that it’s overpowering, allow the awareness to be easily with that emotion. Notice its location in the body, and let the awareness be with the physical sensations associated with the emotion until the emotion diminishes. Let go of the meaning the mind gives to the emotion.
Occasionally in meditation, something can come to awareness that is particularly difficult, such as a repressed memory from the past or a realization about something we need to change in our lives. In this case, it may be helpful to get some support, such as counseling to help deal with the issues that arise.
Disappointment that “good experiences” aren’t always there
Every time we meditate our experiences will be different, depending on our ever-changing physical and emotional states, as well as life circumstances. It is important to understand that our experiences will change, as we will tend to form expectations based on our previous experience. Naturally we like some meditative experiences better than others, and may feel disappointed if we meditate and don’t have those experiences.
There are no good or bad experiences in meditation. There is no right or wrong way to feel. Meditation is about “letting go” and trusting the natural flow of life. It is important to remember that the goal of these meditations is not to have special experiences, but to become more at ease with whatever arises. By meditating regularly and following these guidelines, ease in meditation will grow and this will translate into greater ease in living — the ability to flow with whatever life brings.
Sitting in an uncomfortable posture
Often people have the idea that they have to sit in a certain posture for effective meditation, and yet they find it is impossible to do so comfortably. If you are physically uncomfortable this will dominate your awareness and it will be impossible to relax.
Solution: For sitting meditations, it is best to sit with the spine erect, but not to strain in any way. Sit in a way which is natural and puts you at ease. For most people, sitting with back support and with the feet flat on the floor works best.
Read our Meditation Guidelines page for more help with meditation.
Visit our Simple Meditations page to learn some easy, natural ways to meditate!
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49 Responses to “Difficulty Meditating”
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How to Meditate
General Guidelines
Difficulty Meditating
Simple Meditations
Breathing Meditations
Walking Meditation
Meditations in Nature
Meditation in Action
Music as Meditation
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I’d really like to thank you both very much for your podcast meditations. I have been finding it very difficult to sleep for the past months and your meditations really help me to settle. I particularly like the chakra meditation.
Thank you again for your kindness.
Piera, Berlin, Germany
I seem to fall asleep whenever I sit and meditate…. how can I stop this?
Piera, you are welcome. Good to hear that the meditations are helping.
Hi Rose,
In our style of meditation, we encourage people not to strain or make an effort to stay awake. Meditation has to do with not resisting the natural flow of life. So we don’t recommend trying to stay awake as you meditate.
If you are falling asleep whenever you meditate, however, it may mean you need more rest. The body takes advantage of the relaxed state in meditation to take the rest it needs. Perhaps you need to be getting more sleep at night. If this is what is happening, the way to stop falling asleep in meditation is to get more sleep in general.
Also, if you meditate lying down you are much more likely to fall asleep.
I am often told i am a restless person by nature.
I also have problems meditating..like i just can’t sit still for even an hour a day to meditate. I have often made resolves and decided to stick by them. but to no avail.
my restlessness gets the better of me.
Can i cure my restlessness that is ingrained in me?
On a daily basis I would like to do some thing that helps..besides even meditation. Like in a 24 hrs day, I’d like to follow sth all the time to change my restlessness into peace and patience.
Hello neha,
I would encourage you to read more on this website and to try the guided meditations in the podcast. Try the Breath Awareness Meditation. Perhaps you will eventually want to take the Online Course.
An hour is a long time to sit in meditation. Try a shorter period. It makes a big difference as well what kind of meditation you try to do. You might not have found the right style for you. You might even try a Walking Meditation if trying some of the shorter sitting meditations here doesn’t work.
Good luck!
recently started meditating under guidance from my martial arts instructor
every time i meditate i have an overwhelming feeling of some one sitting in front of me with their face almost nose to nose with mine.
problem is it starts as a curiosity but sometimes i feel horrified by it.
just an average 21 year old no prior episodes of violence or anything
just wondered if u guys had any thoughts
Since you are being instructed in meditation by your martial arts instructor, I would suggest that you ask him/her about this experience. Without knowing what kind of meditation you are doing, it’s hard to comment.
I really like audio meditation. I’m a beginner at it and I do have a few struggles.
One thing is is that I have a hard time visualizing or grasping certain things (a common element in meditation is imagining a wave or halo of light covering over your body) and try as I might, I can’t really do it.
I have similar problems in guided mediations or anything that involves imagery. It takes me awhile to build things in my head (if that makes any sense). For example, if I’m told to picture a field of grass, I have a hard time “building it” or making it permanent.
Do you have any suggestions?
- Suzanne
Hi Suzanne,
Some people visualize more readily than others. I actually have a similar problem with meditations involving visualization and don’t really like them, so the meditations I create rarely ask you to visualize anything in particular. There are guided meditations that don’t involve any visualization at all. You might want to try some of the meditations in our podcast or our CDs and see how they work for you.
My big problem is in controlling the breath. I just can’t seem to let go and breath naturally. I can’t stop manipulating it, each time I meditate. Any suggestions.
Hi Donny,
This may sound like strange advice, but go ahead and let yourself manipulate the breath! I say that because it sounds like you are trying to breath naturally. You can’t breath naturally by trying. Breathing just happens naturally. It may even be that you are not actually manipulating it, but once you bring your attention to your breath, it feels as if you are. So in that case — let that happen, let yourself manipulate it. Also, notice that you are having these thoughts about manipulation and let those go.
Have you been having this difficulty with our Breath Awareness meditation on the podcast? If not, perhaps by using that, this pattern will be broken.
Finally, if all the above doesn’t work, try meditating along with one of the other meditations that doesn’t involve the breath, like the Simply Being meditation on the podcast.
Sometimes when I meditate, I feel like my body is coming apart, or I am being flipped upside down, or pulled away from myself. There is also a sense that if I give into this, something bad will happen. Has anyone else ever had this problem? What does this mean?
Hi William,
People have made comments about some similar experiences in the following two blog posts:
Body Movements in Meditation
Sensing Energy during Meditation
I don’t know what kind of meditation you are doing, but in general the deep relaxation and rest of meditation gives the body-mind a chance to rejuvenate and balance. People often report a sense of movement even when the body isn’t moving. As this is happening, all sorts of things can be experienced subjectively. It’s not uncommon to feel as if the body is moving, even when it isn’t.
There’s no reason to think that something bad will happen. It’s simply an inner experience. It sounds like the experience is bringing up some anxiety. If it is too uncomfortable, you can open your eyes to bring your awareness out and stop the experience.
Hi,
I started meditation about half a year ago, as part of a therapy to treat chronic depression. Since then I’ve moved further into meditation and Buddhism but recently have encountered difficulties in focussing whilst meditating.
Mostly, sometimes just after a couple of minutes, a dull and somewhat restless pain starts to arise in my arms, being most pronounced in my left arm. It becomes so overwhelming during the rest of the meditation that a light sense of panic arises spontaneously and I have an incredible amount of difficulty keeping my attention on just observing what’s happening and trying not to react/interact with the disturbing sensations.
Even after the meditation the feeling continues to linger and even as I type, almost an hour later, there’s still a residue of the dull restlessness. Having said all this, I must admit that the quality of my meditation seems to have improved recently, even though I can’t seem to get myself past 15 or 20 minutes like I used to in the beginning.
Do you have any ideas, comments or suggestions on this because it’s worrying me?
Bart
Hi Bart, I won’t be able to comment based on a Buddhist perspective. My approach may be slightly different from what you are studying. You can experience it by listening to our free podcasts, and with what you are experiencing, you might trying the Emotional Ease meditation.
My comment on what you are describing is that the dull restless pain, the reactions that come up about it (including thoughts and feelings) ARE all part of what’s happening. Your attention is naturally going to the sensation and your reactions are spontaneously happening. Noticing those things is part of what is being observed. It doesn’t have to be opposed to “observing what’s happening”.
If this answer doesn’t help and if you want to experience a slightly different approach, try listening to some of our podcast episodes, such as Effortless Meditation or Letting Go. You can also consider our Online Meditation Course.
Two weeks ago I started a mindful meditation class at a midwest university health center. I have had severe tinnitus for years, and long ago came to accept it and live with it. Starting meditation the meditation program, doing both the body scan and sitting meditation, has brought the tinnitus front and center. I am absolutely miserable. I had resolved this years ago, but the body scan and concentrating on sensation has totally ruined my good relationship to my tinnitus, which is high pitched, loud and constant. Right now, I feel like meditation has ruined my life.
Our approach is not mindfulness meditation. You might try listening to our Beyond Pain meditation on our Listen to Our Podcast page and see if that helps.
I have just started meditation and after 5/10 min i feel my body rocking i don’t know if it really is or i just feel like it is.What does this mean? When will i start to benefit from my meditation ?
donna, I suggest you read the Body Movements in Meditation blog post and comments. It addresses things like rocking in meditation. If you still have questions after reading that, you can leave a comment on that page.
We start to benefit from meditation from the very beginning. You may not notice changes right away, and different kinds of benefits take longer than others to appear. What the results will be also depends on the kind of meditation you are doing.
I have been practicing meditation for 5 years now. I have been in many changes. At this stage now. I feel not interested in doing anything just meditating. I don’t feel like having a child or doing anything at home. Meditation is all what I want to do. I feel as if I am distracted away from the world. What is happening to me?
noooor
Without knowing you and a lot more about you, I really can’t comment about what might be happening. Do you have a meditation teacher or spiritual teacher you have been working with? I suggest you discuss this with them or another trusted counselor. Best wishes.
I used to be able to meditate very deeply when I was in biofeedback. Then I ran into this huge resistance, and I have been unable to meditate. The basic problem is that I am “trying too hard” and I don’t seem to know how to let go anymore. How can I overcome hindrances to meditation?
This is such a common problem, Edith!
Sometimes this is just a phase that passes. The trying just stops at some point (without you trying to make that happen of course). But sometimes it helps to be guided in meditation, so I’d recommend you try listening to some of our podcast meditations. Effortless Meditation would probably be best in this case.
Thanks mary, In fact no I don’t have a spiritual teacher nor a meditation teacher. In the area I live no people practice meditation I have read so much about it and at this stage I feel as if I am losing control on my life. I am so distracted from my husband I don’t want him around all I want to do is meditating and I feel as if my life is being messed up because I don’t feel like doing anything anymore. My whole joy is meditating and I feel that I need alot of space around me to be able to meditate and when my life responsiblitlies come up I hardly want to do them I just want to meditate? Can anyone give me a contact of a good meditation teacher or a spiritual guide I would really appreciate it.
Edith,
Yes this happens but what you need at this stage is to do a certain exercise before meditating. When you dance or run before doing a meditation then it happens more easily the resistance is less than it is. And you find yourself deeply meditating again.
Dear Sir,
i came across your article which is exactly what the difficulty i am facing in my mediation. I practice mediatation for the last two year. I observe my breath, thoughts. i have different experience every day. SOmetime it becomes difficult to be at ease with my experience and my routine work also sufferes due to that. In spite of that i am very regular in my mediation. I want to ask, ” Is there any technique/approach by which i can be at more ease with my varied day-to-day experience”
with regards
yours
sanjay soni
IIT Kharagpur, India
Sanjay, it’s difficult to answer this without detailed knowledge of how you are meditating and what your experiences are. You can try listening to our meditations, however, through our free podcast. Visit the Listen to our Podcast page and try the Breath Awareness Meditation and see how that goes for you. You might also try Effortless Meditation, Letting Go or Simply Being. You might find our approach a bit different from what you have been doing.
If that doesn’t help, you’ll need to explore other approaches. It’s certainly possible to experience greater ease in daily living, but different people find different ways to achieve that. Best wishes!
Just wanted to say thanks. I’ve been in a meditation funk for about 2 weeks now and been noticably more irrate and irrational as a result. Every time I tried to meditate I just couldn’t ‘get there’, which made it all worse!
On your advice I listened to the Effortlessness podcast, and have just spent the past 30mins in blissful, non-judging, effortless meditation. The spiritual boost I needed – thank you.
Good to hear, Kim! You are welcome!
HI Mary
I have just discovered your podcast. After some time trying to find a way to meditate I have found your podcasts and messages on your website to be so helpful. I love your gentle, non judgemental approach and have found myself for the first time just relaxing and giving myself permission to simply enjoy the experience- this is so freeing for me. Thank you. I’ so looking forward to continuing enjoying the journey on your future podcats!
How wonderful to hear this, Siobhan. So glad you were able to relax into the experience — what a blessing! You are very welcome.
frequently when I meditate I start dreaming, then suddenly I will realize that I am only meditating and not sleeping – is this helpful or should I let go of the dream and come back to present awareness?
Laura, if you are doing our meditations, whatever happens is just fine. Sometimes your mind might drift into a dreamlike state or you might even doze a bit. In the deep relaxation of meditation, the mind and body do what they need to for the sake of rest and rejuvenation. Just easily continue with the meditation when you become aware the mind has wandered.
If you are doing another system of meditation, like mindfulness, the answer might be different!
When i meditate , after every 20 min session i feel i want to sleep..even if it is early morning after a good night sleep …is it normal or i am doing anything wrong.
Deepali, wanting to sleep after meditation doesn’t indicate you are doing anything wrong while meditating. Usually this would indicate that the body wants more rest, but there could of course be other factors that are causing this reaction, but I don’t have enough information to know what is actually going on.
Dear,
I have been meditating now for 6 years. I am calmer now and I am different in a way that the many thoughts have calmed down. But I have been coughing and sneezing and these have been accompanying my late mediating, if feels as if my system is changing and I am quite embarrassed when with people as I keep coughing every time I want to talk.
Is this normal? and is it a stage that will go as this energy goes to the right place???
nooor
nooor, of course with a cough that doesn’t go away, it’s always recommended to see a doctor to make sure it isn’t a medical problem. Otherwise, it may well be that your system is changing. Life brings change, and meditation can bring even more change. Coughing could have to do with the throat chakra, and you can investigate the meaning of the second chakra and see if there are any issues in your life related to that or if something is going on with your emotions. Perhaps something has changed in your life that is affecting you. There are so many things it could be and it’s impossible to answer what it is here – it isn’t a “normal” stage in meditation that has a simple explanation.
Thanks mary, in fact no it is not cough problem it is something that happens the more I mediate, and when i want to talk I feel as if the air is going to some places that it is not used to and causes the cough. But then it stops for a day and I meditate and it comes back I have been avoiding talking as I feel better by not talking. I sneeze a lot sometimes as the air goes in after finishing a meditation. But it is quite irritating specially when I want to do presentations. I feel I am better by being by myself.
How can I know what is happening to me? Whether it is right? or something I am doing is wrong?
nooor, I think you need to seek out some personal guidance (in person or in depth over the phone). This isn’t something that can be answered through commenting here.
I tried to begin meditating again for the first time in twenty years and now I remember my problem – whenever I am meditating and am being asked to focus on my breating I feel this inexplicable feeling in my throat which compels me to clear my throat and/or cough. Does anyone have any advice for me regarding how I can make it stop? Thanks
Hi Keith, It might be that if you just continue meditating regularly for awhile, this will go away on its own. Just let it be there, not trying to resist or push it out. You could also try meditating without following the breath. It may not depend on the kind of meditation you do, but maybe it would not happen with another meditation. You can try meditating with one of the guided meditations in the podcast and see if your experience changes. Best wishes.
Hello Mary, I am meditating regularly for a couple of months now. I have a problem with thoughts. I learned to silence my mind but my problem is that sometimes a thought comes out of nowhere in the middle of my practice and generally carries something I’m afraid of. I believe that my mind tries to trick me and although I tell myself to not care of it I endup with a bad feeling. Thank you.
Hi Dan, You are using a different approach to thoughts than we do. In our style of meditation, thoughts are not a problem. It’s more about discovering the silence that is in the mind all the time even when thoughts are there, not trying to stop having thoughts. If you want to explore our approach, you can listen to our free podcast meditations and see how that works for you. Best wishes.
i find that focusing on my in and out breath helps me to center myself and find my inner consciousness allowing me to fall in to a meditative state much easier. taking deep breaths and focusing on the present moment. allowing myself to have time with myself. breathing in and out. feeling every inch of my body and drawing it back in to my consciousness in my heart and the center of my very being, my body and my soul. breathing in and out.
Hi Mary
Thank you for your podcasts which are helping me to meditate for the first time. I tried the Accessing Intuition meditation the other day and had trouble ‘hearing’ my inner voice. In fact, nothing came to me at all. Does this have any significance?
Thank you
Renee, you are welcome. I wouldn’t say there’s any particular significance to not ‘hearing’ your inner voice. Your experience will be different each time you use that meditation. It is helping you to reach the state of mind where intuition takes place. You may or may not have any particular experience during the meditation, but might find that later on your intuition will be working better. It may take using the meditation several times before you notice something, or it may also be that that particular meditation doesn’t work well for you. Different things work for different people.
Also, intuitive knowing doesn’t have to come as a “voice” or “hearing”. It can come in many forms, such as an image, or may simple be an ineer knowing.
Hi Mary,
I first want to thank you any everyone else for providing a measure of guidance on this. Being from South Dakota, I’m pretty much on my own (I suppose that’s appropriate). I’m just beginning to explore meditation. I have meditated before, but never regularly and so I consider myself a novice of novices.
My question; I tried meditating before bed and while I am meditating I find it easy to let go and enjoy the stillness. It isn’t until afterwards that a problem arises. Sleep simply would not come even though my body was relaxed my mind seemed somehow unable to sleep. I consider myself a champion sleeper, I love the dreams I have and frankly take an enormous amount of effort to drag myself out of bed. Why does meditation set my mind abuzz? Is this something to continue working past and see what happens? My browser won’t be able to listen to podcasts, so until I get a pc in the spring, any advice will help.
But I’m not daunted, thanks for anything!
sincerely,
Benjamin
Benjamin, sounds like you are having a very deep experience of meditation quite easily. When the mind goes deep like that, it can become more alert and you can become energized. In your situation, I’d recommend meditating in the morning or maybe at the end of the day after work or school, not just before bed. Best wishes.