I was wondering if you could recommend a routine to me, at the moment I change up my meditations and do them sparadically and I would really like to commit to one routine. At the moment I am going through a period of self discovery and find that I have alot of inner conflict, my desires don’t seem to match my actions and I get frustrated constantly. I have also chosen a difficult path as an actress and have been finding it so difficult I really feel like giving up. I need clarity on my true desires and inner peace. I need my life to move more smoothly in the flow. can you recommend the best meditation for this? I feel a bit lost.
thank you!

Two days ago I tried the labyrinth walking meditation for the first time, with the intention to regain my inner quietness and centeredness after going to Shanghai for a 5-day trip.

When I first walked into the labyrinth, I felt a very soft and shallow sense of tranquility. My mind started to settle down. Then I felt a glimpse of joy. It revealed to me that, behind all the busy preparation work for my 5-day trip and during the exciting trip itself, I felt joyful instead of exhausted and impatient.

Then, behind this joy, I felt an ever deeper sense of tranquility. As I walked closer into the labyrinth, my chest started to feel pain and my pulse accelerated. I began to feel the anxiety that laid very deep in my heart. However, I didn’t really look into the anxious feeling. I let it pass instead. Indeed, the feeling of anxiety gradually disappeared, and I could resume my walking.

While walking, I listened to the birds chattering on the trees nearby. I felt that these birds were my companions. I have to admit that part of my anxiety was due to my further studies at the seminary. I feared that I might not be able to make friends with the other students. The birds reminded me that I was not alone in facing the challenges ahead. Tears felt down as I realized that there was always companionship in the seminary.

Finally I arrived at the center of the labyrinth. I stood there for a short prayer, again praying for the ability to regain my inner centeredness. Suddenly there seemed to be a voice saying to me, “If you can’t imagine a very loud God who appears with trumpet sounds and thundering, don’t force yourself to imagine like this. Yes, of course God speaks very loudly, but God also speaks to you in silence and stillness. Just stay in this silence if this is where you are created to be, and if this is the place where you will meet God.”

As I walked out of the labyrinth, I felt that my steps were lighter and my mind refreshed.

This labyrinth walking meditation has taught me that there are different levels of silence. The first level is a simple sense of inner quietness. The second level goes beyond our joyful feelings and we begin to get in touch with our true selves. In the deepest level, we simply forget ourselves and sink into the divine silence.

As my studies at the seminary will begin in September, I will take this opportunity to do the labyrinth walking meditation as a spiritual practice.